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Post by greysonstation on Apr 30, 2011 21:47:54 GMT -5
Hello! Im doing a research project on bullying for school and i wanted to know what you guys think of it. Now i know that nobody's going to say "omg i LOVE bullying" but i want to know your opinion on what should be done and who should do something about it.I've finished all the statistics and facts and stuff but i'm kind of stuck on this part. Thanks<3
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Post by grownups4greyson on May 1, 2011 1:58:09 GMT -5
Hello! Im doing a research project on bullying for school and i wanted to know what you guys think of it. Now i know that nobody's going to say "omg i LOVE bullying" but i want to know your opinion on what should be done and who should do something about it.I've finished all the statistics and facts and stuff but i'm kind of stuck on this part. Thanks<3 My opinions may seem a little radical, but here goes: Years ago, when I went through the police academy, we learned the Criminal Codes and Civil Codes (Laws). While specific Laws, Codes, and terminology may vary, the basic content is the same everywhere. Depending on the circumstances, bullying by voice , print or other visual media could be construed as any of the following: Terroristic Threats, Use of Fighting Words, or Use of Profane and Abusive Language or Robbery by Intimidation. Bullying by physical means, or verbal means that puts you in fear of physical injury, such as pushing, shoving, dragging into a restroom stall, hitting with fists or some other object, depending on the circumstances could result in charges of Battery, Assault, Robbery By Intimidation, or Kidnapping if the bully forces someone from point A to point B (even a short distance). If attitudes in the school administration and local law enforcement would take these crimes seriously & make a few examples, bullying would stop. If I as an adult hit you, threaten you, or call you names with the intent of starting a fight (use of fighting words, etc), they wouldn't hesitate to charge me and take me to Jail at least until I could make bond. When bullying involves two minors, they act like "that's just kids." But if the two minors are voluntarily involved in "sexting" they may haul them off to juvenile hall and charge them with "posession and distribution of child pornography and put it all over the six oclock news. (I am not saying sexting is okay, I'm saying if they treated bullying as seriously as they do "sexting", then bullying would stop real fast). If a minor reports being a victim of bullying then the case should be investigated as seriously as any other crime & if the facts and evidence warrants an arrest, then haul the bully off to jail & let him or her do the perp walk for the TV cameras. When it comes to actual court they could reduce the charges, kick everything down to juvenile court, and use first offender probation to completely expunge (wipe out) the record after the fact. But I guarantee you that a bully being arrested and hauled off to jail and facing serious charges would think twice before doing it again even if all charges and conviction were erased from the record later. My point is Bullying is a CRIME as described above and should be treated as such. Not to minimize my point, but there is occasional justice in this world. Proof that God Exists: Example #2 If Bullies aren't stopped while they are minors then they continue their criminal behavior into adulthood where they end up in prison with lifetime criminal records. Better to arrest them while they are young and the records can be expunged after they've learned their lesson.
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Post by greysonstation on May 1, 2011 8:13:20 GMT -5
Thank You! And I agree with you 100%
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Post by mapender on May 1, 2011 11:30:30 GMT -5
I agree with grownups4greyson. However, I think that another group that needs to be focused on more is the kids themselves. So many people focus on how parents/teachers/school administrators can stop bullying, but the fact is that many times they are not aware of what is going on, or if they are it is too late.
Personally, I was never bullied (teased sure, but never badly) and I never knew or saw anybody be bullied to the drastic extremes that you hear about on the news. However, I certainly saw people get teased or made fun of to the point that it was definitely bordering on going overboard and had these people been more sensitive, it could have lead to tragic consequences. Luckily nothing like that ever happened, but looking back on things now I wish I had had the guts to just tell my friends to shut up or to have stood up for the person being made fun of in some other way. However, like many teenagers I just went with the flow and kept my mouth shut. For most people, but especially teenagers, peer pressure is one of the most important influences on their behavior and I think that if other students would stand up to the bullies it would go a long way to stopping their behavior. Schools try a lot of different ways to educate students on the dangers of certain behaviors, but it is awfully hard to fight with that "it will never happen to me" mentality of young people. From my experience, the only things that ever really got to me would be when actual people/victims would come and tell their stories and show how their lives were affected by just one (or a few) simple choices. I don't ever remember a speaker about bullying, but I do remember the one about texting and driving and her story still stays with me to this day. All the powerpoints or lectures on a topic citing facts and figures go in one ear and out the other, but seeing a 19 year old quadraplegic in front of me who has to live w/ her disability and the fact that she killed a father and son as well is not something that is easily forgotten.
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Post by duckbiter on May 1, 2011 12:00:59 GMT -5
I always start from the POV of the bullied child. She MUST have someone to talk to about it. And the person MUST be trustworthy and experienced. The worst possible scenario is when the child has no one to turn to. SUICIDE may seem the only solution. And this is no rare occurrence. WHO TO TURN TO? Parents, friends, teachers etc. They may not be able to completely stop the bullying, but SIMPLY TALKING can be hugely beneficial to a desperate child. From personal experience I can say that knowing HOW to help is not at all easy. A parent wants her child to learn how to cope independently, but not to be traumatised in the process. There's one hell of a dilemma here. Such a fine line between too much interference and laissez faire. Let me admit, I've got it wrong in both directions loads of times. TWO of my children have attempted suicide. I've learned to HATE the A&E department in hospitals.
On a more positive note, I recommend a googling of CHILDLINE. It's groundbreaking, hugely successful, government funded initiative in the U.K., offering a toll-free phone helpline to children, with trained counselors, and dealing with any kind of abuse, sexual, physical and of course bullying.
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Post by grownups4greyson on May 5, 2011 21:35:07 GMT -5
I always start from the POV of the bullied child. She MUST have someone to talk to about it. And the person MUST be trustworthy and experienced. The worst possible scenario is when the child has no one to turn to. SUICIDE may seem the only solution. And this is no rare occurrence. WHO TO TURN TO? Parents, friends, teachers etc. They may not be able to completely stop the bullying, but SIMPLY TALKING can be hugely beneficial to a desperate child. From personal experience I can say that knowing HOW to help is not at all easy. A parent wants her child to learn how to cope independently, but not to be traumatised in the process. There's one hell of a dilemma here. Such a fine line between too much interference and laissez faire. Let me admit, I've got it wrong in both directions loads of times. TWO of my children have attempted suicide. I've learned to HATE the A&E department in hospitals. On a more positive note, I recommend a googling of CHILDLINE. It's groundbreaking, hugely successful, government funded initiative in the U.K., offering a toll-free phone helpline to children, with trained counselors, and dealing with any kind of abuse, sexual, physical and of course bullying. Very well said.
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Post by duckbiter on May 6, 2011 2:06:10 GMT -5
Thank you, grownups4greyson.
NOW FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE As if parents hadn't got enough to do already! What to do when it's YOUR little treasure doing the nasties? As a n00b parent your first reaction (naturally enough) will be - wtf, not MY baby! THIS IS ALWAYS THE WRONG RESPONSE. A complaint from school or another parent must or course be taken seriously. But usually you will see signs in your child's interactions with siblings and friends. Amazingly some parents approve of their child's inappropriate behavior, seeing it as something to be proud of. But it's THE CHILD who has to bear the consequences of misguided or lazy parenting in later life. The results are all too evident.
WHAT TO DO? We MUST be able to talk to our children. Surprisingly there are fewer casual opportunities to do this than there used to be. Although WITHIN a family, we lead separate lives. My way was to pick them up from school in the car. Ban cell phones and in-ear music for this journey. And basically JUST LISTEN. Resisting the temptation (easier to say than do) to lecture, scream, crash the car etc. On the positive side, or am I fooling myself, ALL children are going to try bullying at some stage. It's perfectly rational to try to get what we want by force majeure. Socialisation is the learning curve we must help them ascend. Psychopaths never make it.
Forgive me for going on at such length with this. It's something of a hobby horse with me. But it's been therapeutic, rattling on about it.
MORE POSITIVITY. My parental experiences should not be taken as the norm. All of my three kids were adopted at the same time, and all had suffered multiple abuse.
I should hate to put anybody here off parenting.
BUT BOTTOM LINE - it aint no bed of roses.
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Post by duckbiter on May 12, 2011 9:53:15 GMT -5
Hello! Im doing a research project on bullying for school and i wanted to know what you guys think of it. Now i know that nobody's going to say "omg i LOVE bullying" but i want to know your opinion on what should be done and who should do something about it.I've finished all the statistics and facts and stuff but i'm kind of stuck on this part. Thanks<3 I must admit to feeling some disappointment at the low number of responses you got for your request. Perhaps when PURPLE SKY is released more members will be prompted to comment. There can surely be none of us who can't contribute. Is there a contrite bully amongst us? I bet there is, but she would have to be a HEROINE to confess. Common sense says that for every victim there is a bully. I must have done my share of bullying *pause for introspection* yes!? I'll have to think about this . . . mmm . . OMG!!! Please let us know YOUR thoughts on this. And any interesting insights gleaned from your schoolmates. duckbiter
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Post by Greysongal97 on Nov 11, 2011 20:43:59 GMT -5
Bullying hurts. It ripped many of my friendships to shreds. And they never healed. I never healed. Greyson's music is the only healing thing I've found in 3 years.
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Post by grownups4greyson on Nov 17, 2011 2:33:05 GMT -5
Bullying hurts. It ripped many of my friendships to shreds. And they never healed. I never healed. Greyson's music is the only healing thing I've found in 3 years. You will find many friends from around the world here on the forum.
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Post by Greysongal97 on Nov 20, 2011 20:44:05 GMT -5
Thanks grownups4greyson. I wish I could meet some people from the forum! They could listen to me talk about Greyson 24/7 without going insane. But it's not that simple. I'm losing friends I've made since then left and right because they are having major changes in their lives(like moving, new school, never available, etc,). I've lost 5 in the past month, and 14 in the past year. I guess we are still FRIENDS but we don't really ever talk, so it's like the friendships evaporated. Greyson's music is the only thing sticking around. It's heals, something nothing else is able to do.
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Post by grownups4greyson on Nov 22, 2011 14:33:01 GMT -5
Thanks grownups4greyson. I wish I could meet some people from the forum! They could listen to me talk about Greyson 24/7 without going insane. Hey, feel free to start a new thread (topic) here on the forum to express your thoughts. From the home page click on the area of discussion that is best for the subject you want to talk about. When the page comes up, go to the right near the top and click on "new thread. The message box comes up and you can start a new discussion. Or feel free to join in on the existing threads. Right now there are at least 7 or 8 pages of topics, so, WELCOME, and join in.
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Post by Greysongal97 on Nov 25, 2011 21:29:35 GMT -5
Thanks. I'm trying. I'm not giving up no matter how many times I fail, because of Greyson.
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Post by grownups4greyson on Nov 26, 2011 0:17:48 GMT -5
Thanks grownups4greyson. I wish I could meet some people from the forum! They could listen to me talk about Greyson 24/7 without going insane. But it's not that simple. I'm losing friends I've made since then left and right because they are having major changes in their lives(like moving, new school, never available, etc,). I've lost 5 in the past month, and 14 in the past year. I guess we are still FRIENDS but we don't really ever talk, so it's like the friendships evaporated. Greyson's music is the only thing sticking around. It's heals, something nothing else is able to do. Sadly, such is the nature of life. Especially in todays mobile and active life. And especially for younger people. You are all still growing and maturing. And in the process your interests may change from day to day. Old friends move away. People mean well when they say "friends forever", and in their minds and hearts it may be true. But in day to day life, they end up having to move around or deal with issues that we know nothing about. They don't mean to be "too busy". Its just the nature of life. But tomorrow, there will be new friends, and a whole new world of memories. So hang in there. There will be many happy times ahead.
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Post by Greysongal97 on Nov 26, 2011 9:08:15 GMT -5
Hang in there. There will be happy times ahead. That's something you could live by!
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